At-a-glance: Queen’ Speech 2013

You’re only allowed to stay if you were on the guest list we wrote 18 years ago. You are to clean up after your dog. You will work harder, longer, and when you die you’ll be able to know exactly how your privatised hospital is failing. We acknowledge that prison is a crap solution, so have invented Prison-Lite. Failing to acknowledge trends and desires, we’ve made full-time employment cheaper and part-time employment harder. We’re building a big train no one needs or wants, and we’re increasing the size of the armed forces because… that’s what we think is important for some reason. We’re clamping down on innovation, and making sure that you think about everything in terms of money. Especially your local area. But we’ve made it easier to buy water from someone outside your watershed even though it won’t be their water it’ll just be the business that’s.. oh never mind that’s too complicated to explain. But don’t worry because people with asbestosis will be OK, and Northern Ireland might be less corrupt.

We’re most certainly not doing anything about climate change, bank regulation, social inequality, preparing for the robot-cause unemployment boom, regulating biosciences, or ensuring we have a basics sorted.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-22436103